Confidence Building for Kids and Teens
This article was written by Judy Bartkowiak from NLP Kids
How can we support our children and teenagers as they embark on this new stage in their lives?
At this time of year children are starting in new classes, new schools, preparing for important exams, embarking on a new life at uni and leaving home. How can we help them to feel confident about these changes and prepare them to be resourceful even when we are not around?
- They need to be internally referenced. Rather than being influenced by those around them and relying on others for reassurance and praise, encourage them to check in with their own values before making decisions. Ask them, ‘what do you think?’, ‘What do you think you could do?’
- We tend to praise our children a great deal nowadays but how specific are you with your feedback? Make your observations full and detailed in order that they learn to acknowledge their strengths and build their self confidence. Say ‘I liked it when you...’, ‘I felt...’ and ‘I noticed how well you...’
- Show them how to anchor a resourceful state so when they feel overwhelmed they can access a calm and confident state.
- Invite them to use a metaphor for how they are feeling at the moment. ‘Going into this new class is like what?’, ‘Leaving home and going to Uni is like what?’ When you understand how they are feeling about the journey you will know what skills and resources you can anchor with them and what feedback will be most helpful.
- Lastly, instead of telling them how they make you feel or predicting the future ‘You will really enjoy Uni’ or making assumptions about their feelings , own your own feelings and you will keep the door open for ongoing communication as they embark on this journey.
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